# 021

january. 2015. last here has finally passed.

i just finished reviewing my blogposts from the first one to up until now. and i realized, to my horror, that i left some preetty important stuff out. so, let's see what i've got for you.

first of all... the bangs i talked about like.. a year ago.. a bit over a year ago. yeah.. bangs no more. i grew them out. i also cut my hair short last july. like bob lenght. not pixie. oh and i also got a new piercing. i was going to write about my experience here but the pain of healing was kindof distracting and i may have forgotten to actually write stuff down about it. but, then again.. you can read about that stuff from anywhere, why read about it in here?

my year was interesting. there was a lot of drama and stuff in the beginning of the year.. and then i just cut myself off from it. i think it was like.. june-july, when i had just had it. but the really big difference was after i graduated. i quit smoking, yay me, and then.. i just stopped running around. i haven't been spending all my hours at a coffee shop or a bar or a club. i've just been home. i've gone out like once a month and that has felt like a bit too much at times.

i used to hate staying at home.. now i kinda hate going out. getting all dressed up and everything.. maybe i'm growing up. changing. which according to some people, is not possible. they say people can't change.. but if that's true.. why aren't i the same? there's no drama, no messes, no partying. i'm home, i clean, i read, i cook.. i work out.. those are changes in my life. in me. in the way i think. strange, isn't it.

before, i didn't have that much to say. not to this blog anyway, not to anyone who reads this. but then, i got a comment from a reader. my first comment. and suddenly, i have a lot to say. it's weird how motivating an actual reader can be. but it leaves me with questions too. what should i write about? what do you want to read about? at some point, it would be interesting to make a questions blog, but so far, i don't see that as a possibility. maybe at a point where it's more... public in a way.

i'm going to finish now, and hope that i hear from you. leave a comment, what would you like me to write about?

# 020

i've struggled a lot with this blog. so many people know about it without me saying anything, it's apparently spread like wildfire around .. well.. the world since half of you guys are from the one and only US. i'm shocked really. i mean.. i haven't written in months and yet, i get hits daily. a lot of them.

what draws you to read my ramblings? leave a comment. i beg you!

now.. i'm still not sure what to do with this. i considered leaving it, just forgetting about it. i considered making it password protected.. i considered hiding it. continuing hasn't really been on the table since before the last post i wrote, i got a lot of shit about this blog from people, quite certain some of them are reading this now.

as for my life? it's good. better than good. i'm happy. and i know that there are some people who do not like that at all. but i don't care. i don't live my life for them. i live it for me. i have my friends, i have my family. roof above my head, food in the fridge... i have everything i want. oh and i did finally quit my habit and stopped smoking.

and then, let's adress some rumours. (this could be like a weekly series, it happens so much)

1. no, i am not pregnant.
2. i am not dying.
3. i do not have a sugar daddy. or a sugar mama. i do have sugar, i use it in coffee and baking.
4. i did not join a cult. (seriously people?!)
5. umm... no, i think that's it. unless you know more?

i hope everyone had a good christmas/hanukkah and enjoyed it. i know mine was very enjoyable. have a fun and safe new year's and be happy!

leave a comment telling why you read this and if i should quit or if my writing and life is so interesting that you'll want to keep reading! looking forward to reading and replying to all of them!