# 013

wednesday, the most wonderful day of the week. or second wonderful. still, half-way to the weekend!

so, i'm going to tell you a story now. and i'd be intrigued to hear your thoughts on the matter.

once upon a time in a land far far away, there was a girl. this girl was tall and pretty and had a long brown hair that shone in the light like no other. the girl, let's call her emilia. emilia loved to go out at night, enjoy a few drinks, dance, meet with her friends. and then one time, a boy, let's call him mikael, bought her a drink. now, this was a little unconvential, since mikael works at the place where emilia liked to go.
from then on, mikael would buy her drinks every once in a while and make her some new kinds of drinks too, to test them, to see if they were any good. oh and they would talk a little, smile, make funny faces... but nothing more. but emilia was falling for him. and she felt as if he was falling for her too. but nothing happened, no one made a move. emilia was afraid of getting hurt so she did nothing. other boys talked to her and he always seemed a bit mad when they did.. but when mikael did nothing, emilia filed it away to be from her imagination.
then, one time, emilia was feeling frustrated. she felt lonely. she was on so many different dating sites, and nothing was coming out of those. and she told mikael. they had a brief conversation about it, and he said that he'd put her a heart on one of the dating sites.. she got her hopes up again... but nothing happened, again. she didn't understand why he didn't do anything if he had feelings for her. so again she decided to give up hoping.
one beautiful friday, she was out again with her friends, nothing really special about that.. but at the end of the night.. they had a witty banter back and forth and when they left, he winked at her.. she didn't know what to do about it, so she just smiled and filed it away.
emilia doesn't want to hang on to false hope, but she doesn't know what to do... does it seem like there is something? is it in her head?

help her out if you can. shed some light on it. emilia would really appreciate it. random compliments here and there have also apparently taken place.

# 012

well, it's official. i win the award for the worst writer in the world. updated last in january? really? i suck. but hey, new wnb-sleek and cool look (please don't hate me i'll make you cookies! or something...)

so, what's new with me... well. there is a suuupercute bartender where i like to go dancing who's paid for a few of my drinks... i don't know what it means though.. care to share you smart people? i don't know, couple of people have said he's into me, but i doubt it. i don't think he's ever smiled at me. except once when i made a crappy joke about something without meaning to..

anyway.. school starts back up in a week and then a week later, i go older again, 23, yaaay(note the sarcasm). don't know what i'm gonna do yet. sleep probably. or something of the sort. i should be asleep now but who can sleep with all of this so awesome quiet when everyone else is sleeping and i'm so bored.

i have no idea what to write about. i'm just gonna watch some crappy movie... make the time go faster and the sleep come quicker. or something.


hey all you fine android users, can you recommend good apps for me? and nothing that requires money or facebook!

# 010

sorry for the looong delay in writing, life has been totally crazy. i got sick a couple of weeks after i started an internship and i was sick for a few weeks and then i moved to a bigger place and then school started and i didn't have any time to write. all my free time went to me trying to have a social life. but, i am now, back and ready to.. whatever.

so, i'm trying to remember what all has happened. i cut my hair. bangs.. and i love them. i was terrified to go to the salon because usually my hair gets ruined and i end up hating it and growing it out but now, by some miracle, my hairdresser really listened and asked questions and understood and i came out with perfect bangs. then they overgrew and i cut them again, this time a bit shorter and now, they have, again, overgrown. i'm just trying to figure out a good time to visit the salon again.

i was in a relationship. lasted for like two weeks. i am single again, happily so. i realized that people who i thought were my friends actually aren't and i surprisingly feel fine with it. i've been home a lot lately, but i don't mind, i feel like i'm finding myself again. i do still go out on the weekends but life has calmed down a lot. i'm more focused at school too.

to be honest, i kinda went in to shock finding out that someone special to me died this summer.. i'm still not completely over it, and never will be, but life goes on and i will cherish everything about them forever, they will always be in my heart.

oh, and i've started to wear more skirts and dresses. i know, shocking. i used to hate them with a fiery passion, now i strongly dislike wearing anything that can cut off my bloodflow. thought since this is finland, i do still wear jeans and stuff, but i avoid it if possible. also, after i trampled my leg, i've worn heels a lot more and my feet can actually take it now, really couldn't before. they started to hurt like 5 minutes after putting heels on. i can't wear heels at school and it is kindof fround upon there, but on my freetime, going out and stuff, i opt for heels. not always but sometimes.

well, i still have a LOT more to say but i feel like this is getting to be too long as it is so stay tuned...

# 009

for you my beautiful angels. <3 let's just remember that we are at our best when we're ourselves an if someone can't appreciate us that way, they don't deserve us. we deserve someone who loves us the way we are, with all of our flaws. on the good days and especially the bad ones.

and i love you just the way you are.